Unabridged Late Night Conversation

Wait, I already read that.

Don’t worry, you feel like that a lot when you’re reading that book.

(Laughing)

There’s a little bit of repetition… How else can I be a nuisance? I could – Oh, I can’t forget this.

I still want the stupid…

Can I underline in this book?

My book? Yeah.

In pencil.

Yeah but if you’re going to be getting your own… or yeah whatever.

I still…

Do whatever you want. I’m fine with it.

I still want the stupid cheese truck.

When is it around?

Uh… eleven o’clock tonight.

Oh! Oh, so you’re thinking of actually doing it.

Yeah…

Yeah but so why didn’t it happen last night again?

It was restocking.

Oh restocking… That’s what I do when I change socks. Restocking. Or yeah resocking. Restockings, or socks aren’t really stockings. Resocking.

Oh yeah…

I’m getting in shape.

Blah blah blah…

I think I’ve walked around in so many – bleh – I’ve walked around in so many circles I’m making myself nauseous… (Snapping fingers) What do you do with a drunken sailor, what do you do with a drunken sailor, what do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning?

Bau dunnah bau dunna bau nau nau nau, bau dunnah bau dunna bau nau nau nau, doo diddle-oo, diddle-oo doo doo doo dioo dioo dioo dioo doo doo…

Shave his belly with a rusty razor…

Hey Anna, do you wanna get anything at the grilled cheese truck tonight?

Huh?

Do you wanna go to the grilled cheese truck tonight?

Shave his belly with a rusty razor…

Watch out for my computer. Uh… no. But I’m up for it tomorrow night.

<<In the United States of America, obesity is at an all-time high. Over one third of all American adults are obese. Obesity is caused by overeating, junk food, and lack of physical exercise.>>

Oh! Whoa, you have a computer right there.

…Earlay in the mornin’… Keelhaul him until he’s sober, keelhaul him until he’s sober, keelhaul him until he’s sober, earlay in the mornin’! What do you do with a drunken sailor, what do you do with a drunken sailor, what do you do with a drunken sailor, earlay in the mornin’!

(Laughing) You’re just gonna hurt yourself!

Doing what?

Hitting it.

Like a cat! With like a yarnball or whatever, or keys.

Probably it’s a…

Yeah, or like a baby with keys.

(Laughing)

Like lying on the ground or whatever…

Like a baby with…

Or whatever, like a baby with anything. They’re like Ooh I want that I’m gonna put that in my mouth. And I want to hold it and it’s mine, because I am the supreme being in this world. Cuz I am baby.

Like Stormageddon Dark Lord of All in Doctor Who?

What?

No you guys don’t watch Doctor Who.

I don’t watch Doctor Whooo…

Oh yeah, I actually saw that episode!

Good, yeah that’s the one, that’s like the one line…

I don’t watch Doctor Who…

I feel like I’ve watched all the important episodes. Except Weeping Angels. I didn’t see that episode.

(Snapping) I should watch Doctor Who…

You haven’t see the first season.

…but I don’t. I don’t have time…

Agreed…

Da doop a doop a doop a doop a… But sometimes other people find time to watch Doctor Who.

Doctor Who!

Hashtag Gandhi.

Hashtag Awesome.

Probably so much harder for you to read now that I’m dancing around the room. Rather than when I was writing my essay.

Yes. That’s okay… I still haven’t read your play, Kiley.

Mm-hm. It’s not good though, so you really don’t –

No I wanna read – you let other people read your play!

I let Simon, just because I needed him to check it over for mistakes! I turned it in.

You still have it on your computer…

Huh?

You still have it on your computer.

Yeah but I don’t need anybody to check it over for mistakes now so I’d rather just forget it ever existed.

But I wanna read it! I let you read my story!

How long is it?

Yeah but you liked your story, and your story was good. Uh, two pages.

I thought my story was trippy. I only liked it after other people said they liked it.

Wow. I am so exactly six feet.

Whoa.

Like I have to take my doctor seriously. He said I was six feet, but I’m like…

Exactly…

Exactly double this ruler.

Ugh, I’m jealous of you.

So impressive. I don’t –

Although it’s better to be a short girl…

Was I talking to you about being tall? Feeling tall?

I think so.

There was definitely someone I was having a conversation about how like all of a sudden I was taller than a lot of guys who I definitely don’t deserve to be taller than.

(Laughing) Don’t deserve to be taller than?

There are so many people with much bigger personalities that deserve to be taller. Like they’re just – also, so there are just like huge football players who I’m like Oh my god you could kill me, you know, both with your muscles and with like your deep manly voice and just like how cool you are, or how cool you’re perceived, how popular you are.

Mm.

But then I walk up to them and like, Hey, you’re down there.

(Laughing)

Like… wow.

Kay I’m just gonna get to the Iberian World and the Late Fifteenth Century.

What do you do with a drunken sailor, what do you do with a drunken sailor…

I wanna go do stuff tonight, but I feel like that would be really irresponsible…

…what do you do with a drunken sailor earlay in the mornin’?

…because I need to sleep.

Yeh yeh yeh.

That’s what we do with a drunken sailor, that’s what we do with a drunken sailor…

Goddammit, it’s stuck in my head.

EARLAY IN THE MORNIN!

Where’s my phone?

Um… Mars.

There it is. Wait, Anna, why’s your computer right there?

Cuz I’ve been recording everything you’ve been saying for the past five minutes.

Yay.

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